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In some circumstances, cybersex may in fact help a person through a rough period in an offline, loving relationship.In such situations, cybersex may even be advisable—but still regarded as cheating.In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.In reality, though, the issue of online cheating is more complex—especially when it concerns sexual activities involving actual interaction with other individuals.
The private nature of online affairs may make them less painful for the betrayed partner as well.
But they may be so when participants are also involved in another primary offline relationship, because of the harm imposed on those partners.
In this regard, the following aspects are particularly significant: All of these worries are genuine and can be found in many online relationships.
One way of reducing the weight of these difficulties is to distance the online affair from offline circumstances—for example, by refraining from exchanging personal, actual details or by imposing other limitations on the online affair.
Thus, people may agree not to develop a relationship, permitting themselves only virtual one-night stands, or an uncommitted affair, or a promise with a partner to tell each other about each online affair.As one woman in a committed relationship remarks about her online sexual affairs: "I've had this discussion with my boyfriend and we both agree that as long as it's not with the same person more than twice, it is really masturbation.It's like reading an erotic story and masturbating to it.Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be consider it to be infidelity.