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I began to realise that the implications of my atheism were incompatible with almost every value I held dear.One afternoon, I noticed that my usual desk in the college library was in front of the Theology section.With the freedom of being an outsider to American culture, I was able to see an active Christianity in people who lived their lives guided by the gospel: feeding the homeless every week, running community centres, and housing and advocating for migrant farm laborers. Lewis’s , and one night, after a couple months of attending church, I knelt in my closet in my apartment and asked Jesus to save me, and to become the Lord of my life. Christianity, it turned out, looked nothing like the caricature I once held.One Sunday, shortly before my 28 birthday, I walked into a church for the first time as someone earnestly seeking God. At last I was fully known and seen and, I realised, unconditionally loved – perhaps I had a sense of relief from no longer running from God. From there, I started a rigorous diet of theology, reading the Bible and exploring theologians such as Reinhold Niebuhr, Paul Ramsey, and F. I found the story of Jacob wrestling with God especially compelling: God wants anything the unthinking faith I had once assumed characterized Christianity.In becoming fully human in Jesus, God behaved decidedly unlike a god.Why deign to walk through death’s dark valley, or hold the weeping limbs of lepers, if you are God?
Moreover, God wants broken people, not self-righteous ones.With the freedom of being an outsider to American culture, I was able to see an active Christianity in people who lived their lives guided by the gospel: feeding the homeless every week, running community centres, and housing and advocating for migrant farm laborers.In the Summer of 2008, I began a new job as Assistant Professor at Florida State University, where I continued my research examining the relationship between the history of science, Christianity, and political thought.This sacrificial love is utterly opposed to the individualism, consumerism, exploitation, and objectification, of our culture.